I am going to preface this post with a disclaimer. This may not be popular opinion. I feel everyone is entitled to expressing themselves in their own way and I say to each their own. This is my opinion and my opinion alone. Take it or leave it.
Unless you have been living under a rock you have probably heard about Target "discriminating" against a women for breastfeeding in their store. From the woman's account, her child was fussy and needed to be fed so she pushed her cart next to a display and sat down on the floor to breastfeed her baby. You can read the full story at Best for Babies here.
Now, there are so many things I have to say about this issue. First, I support public breastfeeding . I fed my daughter in public numerous times (even in a Target store) and feel any woman should have a right to feed her baby in public; however, I hate reading stories like this one.
This once happened here at a local coffee shop. A woman said that she and a group of her friends were told to move to a back room because they were breastfeeding. This outraged everyone and so a nurse-in was scheduled. After a big hoopla and a nurse-in at the establishment, another non-bias patron with no affiliation to the coffee shop came forward and said "the women were not asked to move because they were breastfeeding. They were asked to move because a couple women were changing poopy diapers on the couch where other patrons could see and it was making other guests leave the shop". So the issue was not breastfeeding, it was a poopy diaper. The shop then acknowledged that they need to put a diaper changing station in the restroom. The did this and everyone lived happily every after. So what does this have to do with Target?
First, this is one person's account of the incident. We have no other means to back the story up other than this one woman's account. I am not saying this woman is lying. She could very well be telling the complete truth. However, when a person gets mad, things can get exaggerated especially in situations like this. We could very well see more information at a later date. The woman also claims to have called Target's customer service line and that she got this response when she said that as a woman she had the legal right to feed her baby wherever she saw fit.
The lady (I wish I would have gotten her name) told me that she and Target were aware of our legal rights as nursing mothers, but that Target has different policies because they are a family friendly public place.I can not for one second believe this. I just can't. I can not imagine ANY company telling a person we know what we are doing is illegal but we are going to keep on doing it. Not likely.
One issue is the woman was sitting in the floor. This can be a hazard to others around her and to herself and her baby. She could easily have been hit by a cart or stepped on by someone not seeing her. Now if the Target employees just had said "this is not safe please move to another location" that would have been great and dandy. The issue comes because according to this woman's account they told her she had to go to the dressing room and that they would cite her for indecent exposure if she didn't.
If the story is completely true and the woman was treated this way, that is very unfortunate. However, I do not think it is an issue with Target. This is an issue with a couple stupid employees. Yes, unfortunately, Target is responsible for its employees, but given the timing of this issue it could have been holiday help or temp help. No excuse for their poor behavior, but Target has a policy that states women can not be discriminated against for breastfeeding. Employees are supposed to follow this policy, but if they don't all Target can do is reprimand or fire the employee. It does not mean that Target is an anti-breastfeeding company. It means that these two silly employees where ignorant to breastfeeding.
So who is to blame? Society! We have groups like Best for Babies who are outraged over this incident saying that women should have the right to breastfeed anywhere anytime (I agree). They scheduled "nurse-ins" across the nation at various Targets to make a stand for these moms and their babies. However, I feel they are really off target (haha no pun intended) with this one. Nurse-ins are when a group of women get together and simultaneously feed their babies at the designated location showing that they have a right to do so. They are peaceful protests.
But what do they really do? Target is already having to do damage control because of the issue and with blogs and women online things like this travel at lightening speed, so Target is suffering. The nurse-in, in my opinion, will do nothing but add to our society's already messed up opinion of breastfeeding mothers. They can view this type of protest as a "cliche" of "crazy" women or it can just be seen as something to laugh off. Target's corporate office is already feeling the heat, so what good does this do?
If someone is ignorant enough to do this to a woman (like these employees) they are not going to be moved by a protest of a large group of breastfeeding women. It just isn't going to happen. Instead of being outraged over Target being unable to control a couple of its thousands of employees to follow a policy they have on breastfeeding, we would be better to focus our energy on why a large corporation like this NEEDS a policy on breastfeeding? Last time I checked, when I started lactating I did not become medically inept, or unhuman. Why do I as a breastfeeding mother need a "special" policy?? This is what should outrage us!!
The reason is that society views breastfeeding mothers as people who need to be tiptoed around. It is because society looks at breastfeeding like some foreign unnecessary practice. It is because society sees breasts as purely sexual. We need to take our energy and focus it on all the positives of breastfeeding. If breastfeeding became the "norm" then there would be no need for "special" policies for a breastfeeding mother.
That is my opinion on the subject and I welcome any disagreements. What is your take on these situations?
Added after a few messages:
Yes this is getting media coverage, but is that good? Even if it gets media coverage and even if every business in the United States made a stringent policy stating women can breastfeed in any manner, place, time they wish irregardless of circumstance, would that be enough? The answer is simply NO!! I could care less what "corporate policies" are on breastfeeding. All the corporate policy under the sun doesn't change public opinion or stigma. The bigger issue is why a person (these employees or people in general public) feel it is okay to treat a breastfeeding mother this way. Until that is addressed all the policy in the world will make no difference. Things will be right when there are no policies because the majority of employees would never dream of treating a breastfeeding mother differently than anyone else.
I agree with you. I don't think that militance of any kind helps the cause at all. Instead I think it causes people to roll their eyes and mock the very thing that you're trying to bring in to a positive light.
ReplyDeleteThis is the first post of any blog, twitter account, or otherwise I've read so far about the "nurse-in" that was actually written with common sense. Well done! Agree %100
ReplyDeleteThanks ladies!
ReplyDeleteI guess I am just looking at it from a slightly different standpoint. I think there are definitely multiple roads that lead to the same destination and maybe nurse-ins do work for some people. And if they do fantastic. I think it is incredibly sad that we now have more babies who are formula fed in the US than breastfed. If it just became common practice for women to breastfeed in general we wouldn't see such an issue in the public with it. Even if a woman CHOOSES to breastfeed in private and never did it in public it would still not be something that had a stigma attached to it. So I think more efforts should be made to support women in choosing to breastfeed their own babies. At the hospitals we should not just offer up bottles but instead try to support women and help them make a more informed decision. Women who bottle feed ( I was one of them with my first child) will sometimes get defensive when a breastfeeding momma tries to "convert" them. I know I was! I, however, did not have a good support system and was not as educated on the subject as I should have been. Had I known what I do know, my first child would have not been on a bottle. I just don't see nurse-ins as "education" events. To me, it just makes nursing women look like an "exclusive" type group with a more political mission which I don't believe helps the cause. Like I said before, there is more than one road to a destination so it may help. I just feel efforts are misplaced at times. But I am happy for women who do find support they need at things like this.
45 minutes ago · Like
Simply brilliant!
ReplyDeleteSorry, but as far as I know Target did not deny this woman's accusations that she was told to move not because she was a "security hazard" but because she was breastfeeding, and the insinuation that she could be fined for indecent exposure.
ReplyDeleteAs I see it, they aren't doing the nurse-in to change public opinion regarding breastfeeding, but to show Target that the law allows them to do it and to raise awareness to the fact that Target was not following the law.
target didnt break the law, a couple employees did. and of course target wont deny it because they have no way to know if the employee actually said those things. somethingl ike that was probably said, so if target denied that it happened they would probably be lying. they are delaing with the aftermath and even have a corporate policy that states breastfeeding in stores is A OK. the company didnt break the law, the idiot employee who told her she could get in trouble for indecent exposure is the one who broke the law. i think its silly, i nurse at target, hell i used to nurse every time i was there when my baby was really small. i never got any attention for it good or bad, the employees had no problem, no one ever asked me to move. the only time ive ever been discriminated at all anywhere was actually by another young mother who was in the target cafe area with her baby and presumably boyfriend at a table near mine. she gave me dirty looks the whole time i nursed my baby, it was weird actually but whatever. target didnt care and their employees didnt care. this is a few targets in 2 different states mind you, and once i even sat on the side of an aisle in the baby section because my darling baby was about to freak out. target has no problem with breastfeeding, they know its a legal right. which is why i agree with this post 100%.there really shouldnt even need to be a policy, and target is responsible which is why they are dealing with the backlash, but target as a whole had no control over what came out of that employees mouth.
ReplyDeleteAnon,
ReplyDeleteLike I said in the post. If the employees told her she could be cited for indecent exposure that is horrible, but not a problem with Target. That is a problem with society as a whole. This was 2 of thousands of Target employees. Target has a policy and employees are to follow their policy. These did not. Therefore, Target then would have to write-them up or terminate them for the incident which I am sure they have done.
What more can they do? Nothing!! This issue has nothing to do with Target and everything to do with our society's stigma with breastfeeding. If we as a society did not have hang-ups with breastfeeding this would not be an issue. Like I said in the post. I am more outraged that there is a NEED for a breastfeeding policy than anything else.
Why do we need policy for breastfeeding women??? WE DON'T!!! Society should view us like anyone else and there should be no need to distinguish.
I feel that with nurse-ins we are just missing the point all together. It is great that women want the right to feed their babies anywhere,anytime. I AGREE!! But I don't think a nurse-in accomplishes this at all. All it does is create more stigma around nursing as an exclusive group of politically motivated individuals. When all we should be focusing on is making it the norm.
I feel steps need to be taken in maternity care and right in the hospital to make this right. Like I said, everyone can have their own opinion. This is mine.
And Target KNOWS women have the right to breastfeed in their stores. Hence the policy. So the nurse-in is not showing Target anything they don't already know. So this should be about educating the public or the energy should be focused elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteI feel it's unfortunate for the mother. For one, what was she doing on the floor? They usually have cafes where she could have sat and fed her baby. Two, it's hard to get the real truth from emotionally vamped situations like this. But with Target not denying that the employees told her to "go elsewhere" because she was breastfeeding is making me think that they are guilty and that's a shame. Target is now going to be seen that their employees are prime examples of American ignorance. I don't imagine myself stopping my shopping at Target but it does make me reconsider ever taking my child there in case he might get hungry..
ReplyDeleteWell said!! I haven't been writing that long, and so my poor attempt at writing has been attacked over the last 24 hours. Oh well it was a learning experience. I support Nursing where ever a mom needs to. I would prefer not to do it in the open, but that is because I am not comfortable with being in the open like that. But thanks for posting this, and being so kind in your comment on mine. Happy New Year!!
ReplyDeletehttp://combatbootsanpointeshoes.blogspot.com/2011/12/real-classy-ladies.html
well said, tara! very thoughtful, educated, and balanced editorial. this reminded me of a conversation i've had with my husband before about the need or lack thereof for gay rights parades. is it more impactful to parade one's lifestyle down the streets of town, or to simply live it unashamed and embrace your rights? when i breastfed both my boys, i did so anywhere and everywhere, covered and uncovered. and by uncovered i mean that i always did so discreetly, uncovering just enough to get baby latched on, but looking at me all you would see would be shirt and baby - and never caught flack. but i also wasn't looking for stares of outrage - i didn't care. all i cared about was feeding my baby!
ReplyDelete