As the mother to a four year old daughter, I was dealing with the stress and impending heartache of my little one heading off to school for the very first time. My daughter has never attended preschool and has always remained home with my husband or myself, so this was a whole new journey for us. I was concerned about whether she would make friends, if she would listen to the teacher, if she would be scared, and how she would handle all this change. One thing I was not concerned about was her diet. I knew that I could pack healthy and nutritious foods for her and would be able to monitor what she ate by the presence of or lack of food in her lunch pail. I was not prepared for the words I heard on her first day of school as we entered the school with her TinkerBell lunch pail, "No pack lunches please!"
I was very upset at first and did not know how to react. I dropped my daughter off with the teacher and politely asked her about the policy. She directed me to the Superintendents office to speak about it with him. I met with him after the first day of school to discuss the policy. He told me that they have a no pack lunch policy because they were concerned for the student's nutrition. He said students can not learn properly if they are not eating a well-balanced and healthy diet. Therefore, the school requires all children eat both breakfast AND lunch at school.
I understand this! I explained that we prefer healthy and organic lunches with minimal starches and lots of fruits and veggies. He said he respects my healthy lifestyle and assured me that this was in the best interest of the students. The school was apparently struggling with many parents sending their children to school with soda pop and candy bars with hardly an ounce of nutrition in their packs at all. The schools solution to this is to ban pack lunches outright.
I can appreciate that they want to better the nutrition level of their students, and I see that for the majority of students this may be the case. However, with my daughter, I knew our lunches would be MUCH healthier! So what is a parent to do?
We discussed getting the required doctor's note to allow our daughter to pack her lunch. The school policy is that if the child has a note from the doctor saying they needed special meals they could be exempt from the policy. My doctor could (and would) write a note stating that a diet free of pesticides and chemicals and a diet of organic food is seen in the best interest of my child, but what would this do to my daughter?
My daughter would be THE ONLY child in the whole school packing her lunch. We fear the stigma of that on her. She came home saying she wanted to be like everyone else and eat in the cafeteria, so now I was in a bind. I spoke with the superintendent again about the menu he had given me. It did not seem completely balanced and I was worried about some items I felt she would not eat. He assured me that the school had a full salad and fruit bar and then proceeded to tell me that school lunches are only $0.30 and breakfasts for only $0.15!
I found out the salad bar and fruit bar are in fact fresh produce and fruit NOT canned which is great! However, it is not organic. I also learned that the reason the school is able to provide such inexpensive lunches and breakfasts is because ALL students eat there. If students were allowed to pack lunches the price would be higher because they would have more waste and less revenue.
This puts me in a sticky situation. If I make my child exempt she could be looked at as an outsider (and inevitably talked about by the teachers and other parents). If I pursue getting the policy changed I risk having lunch prices increased drastically and some parents then being unable to afford their chid's lunches.
Ultimately, I do respect the Superintendent's gusto for trying to do what he feels is right. However, I do not like being told what I can and can not feed my child as a parent! After a LONG discussion my husband and I decided to let my daughter (for now) eat in the cafeteria. We explained to her the importance of choosing lots of fruits and veggies from the salad bar and are keeping track of what she is eating via the teacher.
After I get more involved in the school and get a feel for the other parents we may pursue this further. For now, though, we will be silent observers and see how it goes. Needless to say, a multivitamin and super nutritious dinner are a must in our household now!
What would you have done in this situation?
(On a side note, if you live in an area where you still pack lunches, check out the Bag Your Stuff sandwich wraps and baggies!)
Tough one. You bring up some great points, too. However, those school lunches, for many children, are the healthiest foods they will eat. Imagine what kind of food, or maybe lack thereof, they are able to eat on the weekend.
ReplyDeleteThis school decided that since a few students where bringing less than healthy lunches that they would take away the rights of ALL parents to pack their child's lunch box? And REQUIRING a child to eat breakfast at school? It sounds like this school has crossed that line from educating the children to parenting the children.
ReplyDeleteWe (as parents) make the decisions. We decide what they eat, wear, learn, what vaccines they get, and where they go to school. And sometimes we decide to give up our rights by not challenging those who try to tell us they know best for our child. So when did we as parents decide it was ok for someone else to tell us how to raise our children?
And should we be teaching our children to conform, and that they need to be just like everyone else? I think your daughter would like getting a special lunch from her Mommy. She would be the only one with yummy treats from home. :-) (Tara, please know I am not challenging your decision on how you handled this matter for your family. I just get fired up when I feel like parents' rights are being taken away.)
~ Melissa H
I am curious about the demographics of your school district? I have worked in areas where families had little access to fresh fruits and vegetables, let alone anything organic. Many of these families were also unable to feed their children well, if at all, at home and I can understand the position of the school regarding providing these children with the best nutrition during the day that they can.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I also struggle with the problems that I see in most school district's nutrition programs. I know that in my area, which is pretty well-off, the nutrition that the kids get at school is not good enough for me. I applaud Jamie Oliver's attempts at a food revolution in our country's schools, but we all saw the resistance to change.
I will be so curious to watch this unfold for you and your daughter. Perhaps you could be the catalyst to changing the school's breakfast and lunch to something that you would be proud to serve your own child. ;)
This is incredibly HARD. I completely understand the school's position, but I tend to feel for you being a parent. Thankfully, we CAN pack lunches for our children. I am thankful for that because I frequently volunteer in the school lunch room. The food is NOT bad, but your right, it's not organic. And I also see so many times they serve peaches as the fruit or broccoli as the veggie and the kids will toss it. They don't like it, so they won't eat it. This means these children are NOT getting a balanced lunch and for that I feel uncomfortable. There ARE always going to be items that the kids don't like and thus won't eat. I'd rather pack what they WILL eat and not pay for something they will waste, plus I am not a huge person on wasting food. I feel like they should be able to say no, and not have it put on their tray, but the only thing they can do that to is the dessert. :(
ReplyDeleteWhat a tough situation!
ReplyDeleteIf I was you I would let her eat at school with her classmates and just make sure she also eats healthy at home.
While what she's getting there may not be as healthy as what you would cook, I'm really impressed that the school seems to be doing a good job compared to most schools and I would commend them for that and not yell at them for it.
I think what you've done with teaching your daughter what to choose out of the selection there for herself is probably more valuable to her than just eating whatever you give her since you're teaching her to make healthy choices and giving her some responsibility which will benefit her for the rest of her life.
If she manages that well, then you can be a very proud parent and continue to praise her for her good job rather than potentially punish her by making her the only one with a sack lunch. Kids are mean, and they'll find any excuse to pick on someone else. Unless she has a good reason like an allergy, I wouldn't do anything to single her out. Healthy food at school is still good for her, even if it's not organic.
Another idea I just got now is if you pack a healthy tasty snack (something fun) that she can share with her friends if the school will allow that. Then she can be the cool kid with the tasty treats ;)